Reply to Ex-wife and son are sabotaging his opportunity to attend my alma mater

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You lost me at "I'm on the hook for paying for half of my son's college." He's your KID, right?! Sorry for the inconvenience of continuing to be responsible for him. Divorce doesn't change that, but somehow I think if you hadn't signed anything you wouldn't give a crap what was going on with his college now. It's just because you're on the hook and paying for it that you give a crap.[/quote]

NP here but it seems reasonable for OP to want some return on his investment in the child's education (i.e. child is able to be gainfully employed after college).  OP statements imply that the college being considered is only a party school and that the child will not be employable upon graduation.  [/quote]

I went to "a party school" and have never had trouble finding a job that allows me to support myself. Contrary to popular belief on this board, you are not doomed to servitude unless you attend "an elite university." [/quote]

NP. It's matter of degree. Your ability to "support" yourself notwithstanding, it's likely that a degree from a top university will open more doors.[/quote]

Let's get real.  If this isn't a troll post and OP has as much juice as he claims, he can help open doors for son's post college plans. In the world of the white collar middle class professionals, how many parents help their kids get internships or jobs with their connections?  So if OP is more than middle management, I'm sure he can do even more.

So let's cut to it, either you are pissed about paying the money and feeling like you don't have a big enough say or this is a referendum in your mind about how close or who is closer to your son.  Because in my mind, if your son has solid educational/fit/career reasons for picking the school and the school does indeed prepare him well for what he intends to do, as long as he does well there, you can help open doors/help with internships if he wants that help, he can also go on to grad school (on his own dime) with the bigger name.  Make it about your son, and not you, and see where the conversation leads.  If he is worried about being in your shadow (as a PP gave that theory), find out what he wants to do with his life and encourage him to consider your alma mater if it meets what he is looking for, not cutting off his nose to spite his face.  If it's not what he is looking for, don't push it.  In general if you put too much pressure, some kids will run even faster away from it.

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