Reply to saying no to sharing, am I modeling it correctly?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow, the opinions are quite divided.

Op, do you ever include the other kids? I wouldn't hand over the bike (nobody expects that), but do you ever let other kids play catch or kick the ball WITH you/your kid? It's a good way to make friends, and I don't see how it would be detrimental to your goal of "practicing" his skills.

The metal detector: kids are going to be curious about that, that's to be expected. I don't think you need to share it, but [b]you should take it only to places where there aren't a lot of other kids. [/b]You can find lots of good stuff at places that aren't parks. [/quote]

Why? Why should OP's kid have to do this just because other kids at the park might want to play with something someone else has? It's not theirs, and it's not mean to decline to share your own personal items with random people in a public space no matter who asks. If a kid invite someone to come play, yes, that's a time when they need to share their toys. But if my kid goes to a park with a toy, and someone my kid runs into there wants to play with the toy, I don't think my kid has any obligation either to say yes or to stop playing with the toy at the park so the other kids won't want it.

If a behavior is neither an infringement of anyone else's rights nor against the rules of the location at which the behavior is taking place, there's no obligation to change the behavior just to suit someone else's preferences. Is the metal detector allowed at the park? Is it ethical to decline to share the metal detector? Yes. Then OP's get should get the option to take it to the park, play with it, and not have to share it since it is his. Parks are, after all, public spaces available to anyone for any permitted and non-disruptive use.[/quote]

Of course you're right, but wouldn't it be easier and way more pleasant to take the metal detector somewhere else? I don't think he should have to share it either, but the metal detector is a novelty for most kids. They are going to want to check it out. There is nothing wrong with saying No, however, you're responding as though I've suggested stripping the kid of all rights to have fun. No, I merely suggested they'd be much more likely to enjoy their metal detector in peace if they weren't having to beat kids off with a stick, by going somewhere besides a park.

If you have an adorable little fuzzy puppy, but you don't want kids going near him, would you bring him to a playground? Sure, you could, but you'd spend the entire time telling kids to stay away. Or, would you bring the puppy just to make a statement about your rights?[/quote]

I'd do whichever my kids wanted. If they had a reason to take the puppy to the playground and dogs were allowed, we would do that if we could do so safely. Everybody should be equally able to enjoy public spaces, so I wouldn't let worries about other people's behavior keep my kids away unless there was a compelling reason.[/quote]

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