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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

I'm not "badmouthing" anyone. Why are you all so hostile when I am simply asking for advice?

The e-vite came from her, not my son. Of course I can and will talk to him about it, but she seemed to take the lead on this.

Why is it so bad for me to express hurt and ask for advice?[/quote]

OP, many pps here are anti MIL to the extreme.  I think it is some younger generation women who have to be center of the attention non stop, since maybe their parents brought them up that way.  I am not a MIL yet, but I would have never dreamed of taking holidays away from my MIL. Unfortunately she passed away quite young and I became the host.  I am married to the oldest son and I enjoy making Thanksgiving feasts and other holidays, even though I am originally from Europe.  It was more of a default that this fell to me, as I still cook old fashioned way, learned from my Grandma in Europe and I enjoy it. My SIL isn't that great of a cook and a hostess and BIL wasn't married at the time of her passing. Same as with my parents in Europe, when we are there, it is my mom who makes the holidays, I help a lot when I am there, but it is all my mom's doing. Even if she complains about too much work, my sister and I know it gives her and my Dad joy to welcome grandkids and extended family and friends and to take credit and praise for it.  These things are the right of passage in my country, so to say, even established often by church as to who should take over the religious holiday in a family with several sons or daughters. I think some traditions should be kept.  And not I am not old fashioned and raised to listen to men.  I am from a very modern family with working women and raised to be independent and equal with men or even to think I am better.  Have an honest talk with your DS and just ask how come they want to host this year. Is your SIL maybe pregnant again, or do they have to travel to you and money could be an issue?[/quote]

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