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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do not tell your kids about his affair. My Mom told me about my Dad's affair (happened when I was 6-ish, I found out when I was 13-14). They stayed together, but it f-ed up my relationship to men. Changed how I dated and my ability to become truly intimate (not sexual) with a man. Took me YEARS of therapy to get over it.

DH is a horrible husband. Your kids do not need to know that-ever. They need to know he is a great Dad and will always be a great Dad. [/quote]

Not at 6, but she had a right to tell you as a teenager. Kids should know why  their family busted up- and really, sometimes someone is to blame. Instead, they will wonder their whole lives why a marriage just cannot work, when really, there are reasons marriages fail. Like this.

"Dad had an affair with someone at the off=fice,in the neighborhood, at the pool, WHATEVER and I had too much respect for myself to let this continue in my life. I deserved more than that, and I hope you wil realize that when you are older and ready to commit to a guy...you deserve more."

You do not have to denigrate him any further, and you do not need to remove him socially from their lives, but  but hiding the truth is stupid. [/quote]

Wrong. Kids don't need to know every "truth" about their parents. What happens in a marriage between a husband and wife is not the business of what happens between kids and parents. You know, an ex husband could blast his ex wife to his kids and say they divorced because mom overspent and never had sex. Truth? Maybe. But nothing at all to do with her role as MOM.

Again, I'm speaking as a kid who knew her mom cheated. Kids don't care or need to know the ins and outs of their parents' marriage. That is a sphere they are witness to but not part of. Leave them out of it. No matter how you try to cut it, it's not for their benefit to ever open up the details of a marriage to them. It's only so you can position yourself as the sainted, wronged parent and that's messed up. [/quote]

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