Reply to We are separating, telling kids on Saturday

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[quote=Anonymous]dont do what my parents did. they dropped the bomb as soon as my mom found out my dad was cheating. he essentially left the house and moved in with the other woman. meanwhile, mom became horrendously depressed and supremely bitter and even to this day, 30 years later, badmouths my father and how much he screwed her over. It made it so terrible for us kids--like, if we loved our father, we were damaging and further hurting our mother. and no one was there for us. Totally effed up my brother, who was afraid to be anything like his father and married a crazy woman who walks all over him. And made me very, very scared of intimacy, with a string of eating disorders, and messed up relationships. I am now finally married, more or less happily, and can't imagine doing to my kids what my parents did, knowing how it would affect them.

So, yeah, its so hard to swallow that pain, and even to feel like your kids blame YOU for the split, but you gotta separate that from their relationship with their dad. What they need from you is love, love, love, and stability.

I would tell the other woman's husband though. [/quote]

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