Reply to DH's ex wife asked him to accompany her to a work event

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I doubt it. About 3 months after we were married, my husbands ex wife asked him to meet her and their son for a weekend trip in a third destination (not their state nor ours). Her reasoning was the son needed to see his dad. My husband offered to fly him up that weekend and she declined. It has never happened before or since then (we are years past this now) and I seriously think she just had a momentary lapse of like, being in denial he had actually remarried. It was very odd and I was bothered by it of course and my husband did not seriously consider it but he did put careful thought into how to let her know that was inappropriate and never going to happen without upsetting her/making a big deal about it. It was definitely weird though, we had been together 3 years by that point and the divorce was well and over. Like I said, I think she was in a weird place once we actually married.

This is different than OP situation. Personally I don't think it's very inappropriate, but my ex and I do family trips like this all the time. We're modern like that.
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I don't think it is an issue of being "modern" or "non-modern."  My ex is a decent person in most ways, and certainly a good dad.  I'm happy to have a family dinner together, or do a local outing with the 3 of us, and we do all those things.  But I'm not spending hundreds of dollars to go on an out of state trip with him.  I'm sure he'd be perfectly nice and not expect or want anything inappropriate to happen, but that just isn't how I want to spend my limited financial resources.  [/quote]

I'm the PP who wrote that. It actually is and was inappropriate just as OP's situation is. A dinner with ex spouses and kid after a baseball game? Fine. A weekend away while the new spouse stays home? Weird and wrong. No remarried spouse is going to do that with an ex, just like no remarried spouse will attend an event with an ex as a date and expect new spouse to be okay with it. There's things that are normal to do and aren't. A weekend away if neither of you are remarried could work for some people but when one is remarried it's a big fat no. As is attending events as dates. [/quote]

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