Reply to My husband comes home at night and takes my kids out of bed

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I come home from work everyday at 5:30, get dinner ready, feed my kids (ages 3 and 5), bathe them, read to them, and put them to bed by around 7:30 and he saunters in every night between 7:30-8:30 and then goes upstairs and wakes them up, gets them out of bed, has play time. I am not talking about going into their rooms and quietly talking and tucking them in (which would be ok). It gets loud, they get out of bed, run around, screaming. It makes me SO ANGRY and RESENTFUL.

He claims it is so he can "spend time" with them but I find it infuriating and disrespectful to me. How to handle this? Any advice?[/quote]

I agree that you have set your husband up for failure and yourself up for resentment.

Stop doing the bath and bedtime by 7:30 routine.  Do the bath at 7:15 or 7:30, and when your husband comes home, he gets to take over wherever you are.  He can finish bath, he can read them books and he can get them in bed and quieted down.  Make the bedtime routine part of his daddy time.

My twins, now 5, have been on pretty much the same routine since they were 2.  We start bedtime routine around 7:45-8:00.  If it is after 8:00, no bath and they'll get a bath the next night.  If before 8:00 they get a bath, book, brush their teeth and then in bed by 8:30.  8:30 is lights out.  But they'll stay up in the dark until 9:00-9:30 keeping each other up.  It's never hurt them and they are perfectly fine.[/quote]

Exactly, OP is setting up a chore war resentment chest. It's not necessary and really, OP, if you had some perspective it would be helpful.

I am actually the person who does the evening routine, dinner, baths, etc. with my kids (2.5 and 4.5). We work split shifts (me: 7-4:30 and wife 9:30-7) so we can do drop offs at daycare. I usually keep the kids up for my wife (who has a 45 minute or so commute) and we usually do bedtime together. Yes, the kids go to bed at 8 or 8:30, but net-net that works for us because we configured our lives to include everyone in the family.

I also find it odd you refer to them as my kids. I want to know more about your deal. Are you home full time or working too? Do you guys do daycare? Is that why they need to be up early/go to bed early?[/quote]

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