Reply to Here is a hill to die on: Ban on showers hosted by Mom or MIL

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it is extremely poor manners to be so petty about the particulars actually.

Showers are happy celebrations.  Who cares who throws them?  [/quote]

[b]Most people don't care about the celebration. They only care about raking in the stuff so they don't have to buy it. If they really cared about the celebration, they would buy their own stuff and host a sip n see themselves AFTER the baby is born so guests could really celebrate the true guest of honour. But they don't do that, do they?[/b] [/quote]

[b]Umm have you ever had a baby...by C-section, or other difficult delivery with a long recovery time? What about during flu season when everyone's all sick and spreading germs? No way in hell would I have a "sip n see" (honestly people, this is as bad as "babymoon") under any of those circumstances. Hell, you don't even need those circumstances to not feel like entertaining a bunch of people right after you have a baby. To say that women should do that instead of a baby shower is absurd.

And to boot, you clearly have no concept of it taking a village to raise a child. The goal is to supply new, usually first-time, parents with everything they need, whether they know it or not, because you're all part of that child's village and you want to contribute to their well-being. I think some particulars of some showers are poorer taste (like a Kardashian shower for a third kid, for example), but everyone arguing over etiquette and quoting Emily Post and clutching at their pearls and fanning themselves...you're losing sight of the goal, supporting the new family and the new baby. The end[/b].[/quote]

I love how when it comes to buying stuff and lavishing attention on the mother, it's "the village" that is so very important, but when it comes to actual contact with the baby, fawning over the baby, and maybe mom acting like a host, these people are germy grubbers that you must welcome into your home and  (oh the horror!) entertain.

This kind of proves that the shower isn't about celebrating the baby (who isn't even allowed to be there), but about the stuff. [/quote]

Uh, no. It just proves I'm not up for facing a large group of people -- nevermind entertaining, and a few close friends offering no gifts would be A-OK by me -- after major abdominal surgery, hormonal fluctuations, struggles with breastfeeding, the prospect of me or the baby getting the flu, or just generally dealing with most of the world when you're trying to figure out how to mother a tiny new baby.

Are you a man, childless woman or just someone who did this so long ago you forget how hard those early weeks and months are?[/quote]

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