Reply to Help Needed for 12 YO - Out of Control/Defiant

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Reply to "Help Needed for 12 YO - Out of Control/Defiant"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All of the posters blaming the parents are 100% wrong and have never been in their shoes. 
If you have not been in a similar situation - please stop posting. Just because your child is perfect doesn't mean every child is like yours, some sadly have mental illness. It does not mean the parents are the cause.[/quote]

I am not blaming the parents, and I have been up close to this situation (as a sibling, granted, not a parent.)  If the child is being defiant at home, not at school, the child is in part reacting to how he or she is being parented.  If the parents are totally unwilling to explore their own role in both creating and solving the dynamic, they are never going to get anywhere. The parent-child interaction is a relationship with three parties.  You can't just chop off two of those parties and look only to the child.  [/quote]

This was how my brother dealt with our mentally unstable abusive mother.  My mom flipped her shit when I attempted suicide and woke up in the hospital---because a nurse turned on the TV in my room and I wasn't supposed to have any privileges.  [/quote]

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