Reply to Two weeks to go and DS is shooting himself in the foot!!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow. I think college applications are absolutely overwhelming. This doesn't compare to homework at all. It's a completely foreign process with undue pressure riding on the result. Who wouldn't put it off until desperation overrides the fear? Touring colleges is a waste if you think he will actually stand out for asking decent questions. Just let him look at the buildings and the dining hall and leave him be about studying up on the school's pitch. They don't award merit because you toured. [b]I practically carried my kid over the finish line.[/b] It was well worth it. She happy and doing great. She is also doing incredible things. After two jobs, research, and an internship, she could possibly fill out that application without panicking, but not as a senior in HS. There was just no way. Fill out the application with him next to you. And stop judging him. [/quote]

OP here. Thank you for saying this! This is exactly how I feel. Only I'm carrying a cursing, snarling, nasty SOB over the finish line who is fighting me every step of the way!! And he's heavy!! I have the wounds (psychic ones) to prove it! I got DH to sit down with him last night and go over his applications. I cancelled an interview I was going to take him to -- I'm not subjecting myself to more abuse from him on the drive, and have him act indifferent when we get there! The colleges do say interviews are important, but why bother if he's not going to show his best face (and he has one, but he doesn't show it to me).

OTOH, I hear what you are saying about maturity and fear. I do think that DS is afraid of going to college, but when I ask him, he says he "can't wait" to go to college to get away from home! I point out that if he's in such a hurry, how come he hasn't done everything possible to expedite that process? Mumble, mumble... and he wanders off.

This feels like a lose-lose situation. I pay now with DS's obnoxious, ungrateful behavior as I push him through the application process. OR, I pay next fall when he's miserable in either CC or at a college that's not right for him. Right now, I'm thinking I'll coach DH from the side (DH is clueless about this process), and step in if I absolutely have to as Nov. 1 nears. Gaaaaaaaahhh!

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