Reply to Help Needed for 12 YO - Out of Control/Defiant

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Reply to "Help Needed for 12 YO - Out of Control/Defiant"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think ODD pops up at age 12.[/quote]

Not OP- I mentioned ODD and I'm curious if there were earlier signs of it-- I would be concerned if he was a typical kid, then suddenly became aggressive and immune to consequences. ODD is usually symptomatic of something else-- I didn't see where OP mentioned ADHD or another diagnosis. [/quote]

This is one of the reasons why ODD is so hard on families.  Unless you are living through it, you don't get it.  For the majority of people, it is hard to imagine a life when your child will say anything and do anything to you.  Threaten you in front of the police?  Yes.  Can't force him into a car without getting yourself injured or risking him attacking you while you are driving.  Society has few options for children with mental illness or children who have ODD- which left untreated will progress into a conduct disorder.  For our family, after several short inpatient stays, our son was ultimately placed in residential treatment for 5 months.  It was the only way to get 24 hour consistency- which this disorder needs- and to keep the family safe, not to mention, reducing the impact on the younger child in our home.  Residential is a last resort- it isn't a cure.  But we now have more good days than bad days and the physical abuse has dramatically reduced.

OP, I feel for you because DS is 11 and we've been fighting this for years.  Things have gotten better but the first thing I had to do was to STOP listening to those who hadn't BTDT.  If someone calls it a temper tantrum, they don't know what they are talking about.  You need a support group specifically designed for this extreme behavior so you can talk to people who can provide real ideas of possible resources.  And make sure your doctor does complete physical and mental examinations.  It's likely that a combination of intensive therapy for your child, family therapy, and medication will get you started.

And document everything- all of the destruction and physical abuse.  Videotape secretly if you can.  We've had two CPS visits- which weren't dismissed until we were able to show what really happens in the home.  Because even most social workers don't know what to do if the child is the aggressor.[/quote]

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