Reply to How to politely tell our DS that we really, REALLY don't like his GF?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP. I don't see the problem with encouraging both teens to use birth control, and directly asking about it.  If it's a serious relationship, it deserves a serious talk.  I would have just looped her parents in on the conversation.

Yes, my son has access to condoms, I proactively supply them. Still, females the control over the decision to become  parents. Plus, they are both safer with two forms of BC. Reach out to her parents!

- And yes, keep your mouth shut about your personal thoughts on his GF.[/quote]

Birth control is important.  Parents should talk to thier kids about it and other safe sex concerns.  But there is a world of difference between having an open, honest, and educational discussion with your teen and grilling your DS's GF about her birth control choices.  It is particularly galling because OP attacks the girl as "absolutely uninhibited, inserts herself in all conversations", then mentioning that she feels comfortable directly asking this girl intimate health questions.

Personally, I think even encouraging the use of birth control to DS's GF is going a bit far, unless it is a context of a previously disclosed sexual relationship.  Not every teenage relationship is sexual.  Personally, I think there is a decent chance that a teenage girl could feel pressured to have sex by such a confrontation, given the implied assertion.   But even encouraging kids to "Be safe, etc." would be much better.  Just like there is a difference between the government saying regular colonoscopies are important for people of a certain age and having a policeman, social worker, or census taker asking you if you have had the procedure performed recently.  Or to put it back in the parenting context; child sexual abuse is a problem and you should have age-appropriate conversations with your kids about that.  You should not have that same conversation with DC's best friend about that, absent some peculiar circumstances.  [/quote]

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