Reply to How to politely tell our DS that we really, REALLY don't like his GF?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP,

Several of my boyfriends' parents did not like me in HS.  I was very anti-establishment, very political, very outspoken.  I also had great manners, great grades, and came from a "nice" family.  Guess what.  When my boyfriend of the moment had a mom or dad who was being a douche to me, I wrinkled my nose and said, "no thank you," to every invitation to come over to his house to do anything with his family.  The boyfriend wanted to get into my pants so where ever I wanted to hang out was pretty much where we hung out.  Accordingly, mom and dad did not see much of their son during free time.

My senior year in HS boyfriend had a family that I am still close with 30+ years later.  They were and are wonderful.  I loved his mom like my own.  She worked FT (my mom did not) and I often got the family dinner started if we were at his house after school.  I helped with dishes.  I spent time with the younger siblings.  I helped them with homework.  I helped his younger sister choose an outfit to go to a middle school dance.

One of my sister's boyfriends had a mom who hated her.  My sister refused to go over to his house because his mom was so mean to her.  That kid practically lived with us for two years in high school.

I am a lawyer now.  When my ex-boyfriend heard from his wife that she wanted a divorce, I was one of his first phone calls.  Not to rekindle anything, but for friendship and advice.  His family's embrace of me is one of the reasons for our long friendship and one of the reasons why their son and brother had a lawyer and friend he could call for free for help before he felt ready to tell them.

Be nice to the kid your son is dating.  You will lose a lot of time with him just by default if you don't.  [/quote]

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