Reply to Letting go when someone cuts you off

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It had to do with my stepbrother, her son, and my concern about my son being around him.  I know I hurt her, and I said as much in my messages to her.  My husband keeps telling me to let this go and not to try to contact her again, but I care about our relationship too much to let one disagreement destroy 20 years of history.[/quote]

You stuck a nerve because she knows what you pointed out about her son is true.

I've stopped visiting my parents house altogether because of my brother's drug use. I'm concerned about one of my small children finding and investing something like an acid tablet, and the cops are always at their house. Last time we were over, my brother was going bananas at 2am and woke up my kids. I decided I was done. I've explained my reasoning for not wanting to visit (we do visits at our house, and brother not allowed) but it still eats my mom up. People don't end up off the rails overnight, it's a long process. There's plenty of behavior my parents overlooked in my brother for many years and now they know it.[b] She probably knows her son is her biggest failure[/b] or she's still got her head in the sand and won't tolerate anyone else who isn't in la la land with her.

I'm with your DH on this. Let her go. You did the right thing by protecting your son. 
[/quote]

Having a son or daughter with a mental illness is not a "failure"  :shock: [/quote]
[b]Turning a blind eye to drug use and escalating behavior, and failing to get a child early and proper treatment for mental issues, is a failure of the worst kind.[/b][/quote]

+1  You got that right.[/quote]

But who said OP's stepbrother has a drug problem or that her stepmother didn't do everything she could to help him? [/quote]

Even if Stepmom is doing everything she can, it doesn't invalidate OP's feelings.  She has to do everything she can to protect her son.  OP if it's a choice between your jerk for a father or the safety of your son....it's not really a choice at all.  You may look back and be thankful someday that you were cut off.[/quote]

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