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[quote=Anonymous]NP here. This is all so interesting. I have done some of this too. 
I have three kids, all under 10. I really didn't see divorce as an option because I couldn't imagine being separated from my kids. But I had to reduce the conflict. And this did it. 
A perfect examples is trips. I spend SO much time planning every detail. Every last detail. And he would complain. About everything. He would scold me for "taking it personally" when he hated a hotel, but how could I not? 
When I finally realized that I am in fact very good at trip planning, I decided I didn't care what he thought. At all. Friends and family ask me constantly to help them plan. I am very good at the research and I love doing it. He's just a complainer.  So now I nod my head, sort of change the subject, whatever. I don't care.
 Same goes for cooking, house decorating - I am a full time lawyer. I'm not that interested in that stuff snd it is NOT an essential part of mothering.  If he wants to complain about it  - go right ahead. I am confident I am a great mom and would rather take a bike ride with them than cook some elaborate meal.
Things have been so much better. 
And I truly don't care what he thinks.
I guess that's sad in a way.  [/quote]

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