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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I think you're being very thoughtful about a difficult issue.  Personally, I would tell my husband that I would prefer that my son not be circumcised, but that the ultimate decision would be his, and I would support him either way.  I would make clear that it's because if we circumcised our son, it would be because of his religious background and cultural connections, and he's really the only one who can decide whether it's something that would be meaningful to him or just an empty ritual.  If the latter, then I would prefer that my kid not be cut just for the sake of "tradition."  [/quote]

Thank you.  This is sound advice.  I may have to take it, for my own sanity!  I think he feels, like me, that ultimately it's not important enough as a thing in itself to affect our relationship. Which is why we've been going back and forth individually and together, because we both feel that way about each other and about religion, and the other data aren't really settling it.

Must say this discussion has been very helpful to me, because I've realized that it's the social and cultural feedback vs. the religious per se that I was feeling swayed by. But I actually don't believe we should do things like this just because other people do them and I don't want to pass that on to my child.  Clarifying that to myself helps me face the imaginary disappointment of others. If they are going to feel that strongly about circumcision/Jewish identity or whatever they probably secretly think I'm a shiksa, so then why should I hope my son will be accepted for his circumcision?

[/quote]

This really has nothing to do with your child or circumcision but has more to do with the religion of your husband and your feelings.  Jews in Isreal are very different from Jews in the US.  There are many Jews who do not like mixed marriages but many of us are in them.  You need to be honest with your husband and tell him you are not comfortable with him practicing Judaism in your home (your, not his) and you need to tell him that you will not circumcise your child and that child will be exclusively practicing your religion.  Problem solved.

(in all reality your child is mixed.  Many will consider him Jewish.  It may be uncomfortable if Dad ever takes him to Isreal and he doesn't identify with being Jewish around his paternal family.  Smart thing to do is to find the best of both worlds in your home and practice both and expose the child to the best of both religions).[/quote]

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