Reply to We offered to pay for my sister's kids to go to private

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are far better off paying for college over high school.[/quote]

You haven't been around working poor/ lower middle class people. College isn't a given. If the kids go to private high school they stand a much better chance to go to college because they will have a different peer group. Most parents who pay over 10,000 for high school expect their kids to go to college. 
OP- you and DH are doing the right thing. Keep trying and begging them to accept, it might be too late with the 14 year old but you might have a chance with the 12 year old. I have 2 sil's that never attended college. I pay my nephews and nieces 100 dollars a semester if they get straight A's, 75 for all A's and one B (except PE I don't count as long as they pass). We are the only family members who encourage academics. If I had the money we would pay for one nephew who tries really hard to get straight A's to go to private school. [/quote]

NP here.  I grew up working class.  My parents valued academics -- in fact, [b]they valued academics much more than all of the emphasis on sports I see among the upper middle class now[/b].  My parents were strict with grades.  Sure, they didn't know how to navigate college applications and scholarships, but they pressed me hard and made it clear that I had to find a way to pay for it.  They also made it clear that not going to college would make my life a lot harder.

My parents would never have accepted money from a relative for school.  NEVER.  Because they also valued earning things themselves and not taking handouts.  And they taught me to value that as well.

I ended up with a full academic scholarship.

Don't make generalizations about "the working class."   [/quote]

OFF TOPIC but, PP, you clearly dont get what is going on here (see bolded section above).  Those UMC parents you think are emphasizing athletics over academics are not.  They just EXPECT the top academics because in their world that is a GIVEN.  They are emphasizing athletics because they know that for a UMC (and esp white) kid from a private school or top suburban public, athletics can be what make a kid stand out when they apply to college.  Many kids around here who go to Ivies, top State Universities, NESCACs , etc... get in on a hook of their sport (Crew, Lacrosse, Squash, Baseball, etc...) [u]but only because they already have top grades and SAT[/u]s.  The athletics are what distinguish them from the "pack" of similarly stellar students in the DC area.[/quote]

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