Reply to How to politely deal with BF's ex-wife?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Since your boyfriend is dealing with everything, I don't understand what the problem is that you need advice on.[/quote]

I am just trying to stop devious behavior and comments like: "you're setting a bad example for our child by letting your GF sleep over...." and "why are your GFs stuff is in the house". Hmmm.....the answer is always: "with all do respect this is his/our house and our relationship is none of your business." [/quote]

OP, I'm a stepmom.  Usually sympathetic to crazy ex complaints. But these comments by the ex seem pretty normal and also totally her business since you are a stranger sleeping over at her daughter's house.  How long have you been dating him?  Why do you sleep over?  Or do you live there?  Why would you sleep over at a child's house when you are not married?  If you have child with this man and he divorces you, are you gonna automatically be okay with the next woman who sleeps over at his house while your child is there?[/quote]

Another stepmom and ex-wife -  I would NOT have been ok with a girlfriend sleeping over with my young kids in the house.   My parenting agreement had a no-cohabitation clause.  My DH's had the same.  (Our kids are grown now)  No members of the opposite sex were allowed to spend the night when the children were present unless they were family members.  I would have been LIVID had my ex-husband had girlfriends spending the night when he had the kids.[/quote]

Purely curious and not in any way trying to pick a fight: would this have applied if you or your ex would have married again? I'm assuming no, but just wondering.[/quote]

No.  Note the  - "unless they were family members".  A wife would be a family member.

We both remarried.  And honestly, I really didn't care once my ex-husband was engaged.  The kids got to know her very well over year that they dated and the six months that they were engaged.  They love her.   And I can see why - She is a wonderful person. I was fine once I knew she was going to be his wife and my kids' step-mother.  But just a girlfriend?  No way.

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