Reply to "Friends" who don't express condolences on FB

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I recently lost my mother and shared this on Facebook.  I got lots of very nice responses from close friends as well as other people who rarely comment on my posts.  It was really nice that so many people came out of the woodwork to express their sympathy.

At the same time I was disappointed at a few "friends" who frequently post (several times a day) about their wonderful lives, but didn't even bother to say anything in response to my sad news.  I am talking about friends who will comment when I have a great photo of myself ("Wow you look great").  So I know these people are definitely "following" me.

I am so tempted to unfriend these "friends."  To put it in perspective, there are only a couple I can think of, and these are the narcissistic daily posters sharing each and every experience they have in their lives.  So I think I get it and maybe should feel sorry for them.

Just a rant...thanks for listening.[/quote]

There are any number of valid reasons for this.

For one thing, Facebook algorithms are weird and even though they may comment one week on your outfit it doesn't mean they see every post you make. For another, I find it odd that you are fishing for sympathy on FB. It's one thing to share bad news, although I think FB is a relatively new platform and an awkward one at that for this type of news. And many people feel, validly, that making a show of commenting to offer sympathy is rather uncouth and impersonal; sympathies and condolences offered more personally carry more sincerity. I understand you're probably reeling, but really, a lack of comment/sympathy to a post on Facebook is not a proxy for how people care about you. Please don't view it as such -- what a damaging framework through which to view your friendships. And your instinct to punish them for a (probably imagined) transgression is short-sighted and wrong.[/quote]

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