Reply to I don't love my husband and don't think I ever did

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Very well stated! Congrats on making a great marriage together. I am guessing that it turned out well for you because you found someone with whom you are well matched, and didn't settle. You knew yourself well enough at that point to realize the difference. You also had great role models growing up, which is a huge advantage. For some of us, who lacked that advantage, it takes much longer to realize this. At that point, some just resign themselves, others don't.[/quote]

Thanks.  It also takes work to find the right match.  I was 33 (almost 34) before I met my wife and 37 when we married.  She was married once before and this was her second rodeo.  While we both like her ex, they were not well suited despite being high school sweethearts.  But they met and fell for each other before they were fully matured as individuals and when they finished college and started on developing their lives and interests post-college, they drifted further and further apart until they couldn't really stay together.  His loss, my gain.

And it takes more than just good role models.  My mother gave the same advice to my two older siblings and both married for the wrong reasons and ended up divorced (one of them 3 times!).  In both cases, they married before they were ready and didn't put in the work needed to sustain a relationship long-term.  But after some early misses, they both ended up in long-term stable relationships that work well.[/quote]

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