Reply to Anyone find it hard not to be judgy of low status family?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Anyone find it hard not to be judgy of low status family?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They don't envy you.  They don't want to be you.  They don't want to follow in your footsteps.[/quote]

OP here.
That's just not true. They would love our lifestyle. They would love to be able to move out of that hopeless region. You should have seen their eyes when they first walked into our newest home. But they act as if it fell from the sky. I think a lot of it is growth versus fixed mindset.[/quote]

NP here. However inelegantly put, I understood what you meant, OP. We have done better than most of our friends and family. It's hard not to see the differences. It's also pretty clear that some of the differences are attributable to luck and some are the result of bad choices. It's really hard to just sit there and watch when someone you love makes wrong choice after wrong choice after wrong choice - wracking up credit card debt or blowing thousands of dollars on birthday parties when the house is in foreclosure, etc... Then, when you see them parenting their kids in ways that continues the trend in the next generation... ugh. It's painful.

That said, I've lived long enough now that I've had to eat a bit of crow in some (not all) of these situations. You think someone is making a really, really bad decision (like marrying someone who stole their car and disappeared without a trace for two weeks before the wedding), but then 20 years later, they are still married and still in love and all your predictions of doom and gloom have been proved wrong. Time to eat crow. Other times, everyone sees the writing on the wall, and 20 years later... well, it's every bit as bad as predicted.

What I'm trying to say is that it's best to approach these things with a bit of humility. You don't know what the future is going to bring for anyone, and choices you might not make for yourself are not necessarily bad choices for others. You're going to have to practice keeping silent (as I had to do) and just hope for the best. Give advice if it's sought, but other than that, just work on keeping an open mind and a closed mouth.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics