Reply to Should I let DS fail in 7th Grade

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[quote=Anonymous]Aggression can be a symptom of depression.  OP MCPS schools put a lot of pressure on kids.  My DC became very oppositional to school after all the testing in spring and has been angry ever since.  The fact of the matter is, grades in MS don't matter.  MY DC also has horrible handwriting and I've figured out that the teachers don't really care.  I do, but I learned not to criticize it.  Let the teachers do their job and comment if they think it's too messy.  It's their job to tell him to re-do. Not yours. Try not to look closely at his homework.  Yes, this is a good time for you son to see what the consequences are for his choices with school work.  The most successful kids know how to cut corners and still get a good grades.  Let him play with this and figure it out.  What you describe sounds like my DC when he is under too much pressure and the only thing that helps is to lower the demands, so try not to add to his pressure. School will deal with his work if it's too poor.  He will likely come around once he sees that not doing any work is yielding poor grades, but he is giving you the message right now to step back and let him be.  You can tell him respectfully that you see he needs to make his own choices right now and see what the consequences are.  We have a rule in our house that after a one hour after-school break on the internet or TV or whatever, the devices go off and homework should be started.  He only gets more time on the devices if he has finished his homework.  I am learning not to look at or check the homework but to take mY DC's word for it.  It's his choice if he wants to turn in half-done work or whatever.  He will learn from feedback from school, not from you.

Some kids have a tough time with transitions, so keep in mind the beginning of the year is a tough transition for many kids and it's best to not add to the pressure.  MCPS is a pressure cooker and I believe this damages a lot of kids.  How one performs in 7th grade is no indication of how they will do in college.  Grades don't matter now.  And there really needn't be the amount of work they give for a person to learn.  I've known many homeschoolers who didn't do much till high school and they were just fine ultimately.  The fact that your son is social is extremely positive.  Focus on the positives and let him experiment right now.  Just set some gentle limits.  Good luck.  [/quote]

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