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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, you both make good comments but that's not my situation. I never rejected him, not once.. Ok in the first 2 months after birth I probably didn't send any horny vibe but he didn't seem to mind at all. On the other hand.. He has rejected me, several times. Scenario :" we are in bed cuddling, my hand start slowly going down and he quickly grabs it and put it back up :(" . Now this hasn't happened 10 times, maybe 3 or 4,  because I quickly got burnt, I am too sensitive and the rejection is too painful, it wrecks my confidence, so now I'd rather wait for him to be in the mood than try again in a clear manner.

Whenever I have tried to discuss the topic I got 2 type of answers : 1- first it was along the lines of you are not making enough efforts to arouse me (drives me nuts), 2- now it is more along the line of" I am sorry love, I find you beautiful, I am just exhausted, the kids are draining me, in a few months everything will be different/better" [/quote]

So you grope him 3 or 4 times to no avail, and he tells you he'd like more of an effort, but since it "drives you nuts," you give up, and wonder why he won't have sex with you?

Well.[/quote]

It "drives me nuts" for 2 reasons, first because it is so vague, he basically implies I am not sexy enough, but he gives me no real clue as to what he would find sexy, (and I think I am doing the basics), it is demoralizing, it makes feel like an ugly, unattractive  slob, and second because I find it unfair, desire is also something that you work on yourself, I put myself in the mood, I cultivate my sexual desire for him, I don't ask him to do anything other than being himself to find him sexy and be attracted to him. Do you realize what he implies? That me being myself is just not attractive enough .. After 10 years of marriage I understand that you need something more, but we have been together for 6 years and with 2 children honestly it is not like we are done exploring the first chapter of the Kama Sumatra, far from it..[/quote]

People always minimize their own impact on a situation, so ' I doubt you tried  3 or 4 times or only  said no to sex when he initiated in the immediate post partum.
It's the 4th page now so people have probably forgotten, but way back on the first page  you say he asked you for lingerie and a lap dance which you have decided not to do.
You seem to believe in the stereotype that you should just show up to bed, take of your shirt, give a  BJ and that should be enough he should just be ready. Not always how it works.
I know you posted here to be validated by the sex starved men and the  women who will just tell you  are right just because you are female, but my diagnosis is you both share in this. It seems like the two of you are not willing to compromise and meet each other's  needs it's all my way or the highway which is a death sentence to a happy healthy sex life and marriage.[/quote]

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