Reply to Frozen Embies, what should I do?

Forum Index » Infertility Support and Discussion

Reply to "Frozen Embies, what should I do? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have four embies left. I was sort of tempted to PGS them and then decide. I would like to have another one--I have IVF twins already. We have talked about putting them up for adoption to give another couple a chance to be parents. I don't view it as my children being out there. Yes, they are my genetic material but another woman would carry them and she would be "Mom" from day one. All this said, I don't think anyone would want to adopt my embies because one of my twins had a rare error in cell division that caused a very, very rare syndrome. It is not genetic but I don't think people will understand it and would elect not to choose the embies. I think this is another reason I might just transfer all of them--not at once!--and perhaps have them PGS tested to make it easier. I don't know if this is helpful. 5 embies is a lot!  [/quote]

So fascinating reading all these and I am looking at a sp em donor and confronting some of these issues re who is "dad" and who is donor. Honestly I was brought up that if they were your children, they were YOUR children. The birth mother was the mother. The donor was the father. Etc etc. I wonder if this is a republican/ democrat thing with republicans being nature and dems being nurture. Anyone else have thoughts on potential political influences?[/quote]

I am the first poster here with the 4 embies. I am a democrat if that helps. Ha. Oddly enough though, I am fairly religious and think all the embryos should have a chance and I would love to give another couple a chance at being parents. I also think carrying is an intimate experience and with what we know about epigenetic, the woman carrying the donated embryo would have a biological impact on the embryo's development. I think we could do a fairly interesting study (I am a trained researcher) to see if political affiliation has an impact or association but I would look at religion (sect), spirituality, age, and education level.[/quote]

So if neighbors on your street had your four embryos you'd be okay with this?[/quote]

Wow, who are your neighbors? I would be fine with it. There is where I am religious. The embryos deserve a chance at life and I believe that God/the universe/etc is going to take care of them and that giving such a blessing to a couple would be a beautiful gift. I don't think people are inherently evil nor do I think my neighbors are terrible crappy parents. In fact, my neighbors have raised some wonderful humans---they are all in college, working to become engineers or social justice workers/activists or they graduated from college and have families and are contributing members of society. This is a really personal decision. I totally get why the person with 20 embryos won't give them up for adoption. But to be frank, statistically speaking, of the four embryos I have, only one or two are viable.

All this said the people who are being judgmental jerks, just stop. We all fought to be parents and we are fortunate enough to have embryos to make decisions about. It is not our place to judge someone for deciding how to handle the embryos left. We have a load of people judging us for doing IVF in the first place and we are better than that! OP asked what other people are doing and people have been generous in sharing. OP needs to make up her mind on her own and find her own peace just like the rest of us.    
[/quote]

Seriously?  You wouldn't find it a bit odd if you ended up running into 
your kids in the neighborhood?  Kids who look like you but are being 
raised by someone else?  [/quote]

OMG, yes. Why is this so hard to understand that I am okay with giving up embryos to families who want children? Do you know how hard adoption is? They couples meet with therapist, there are extra costs involved, and this is all in addition to IVF costs. The people adopting will have the resources to give the child a good life and the child will be wanted. Why can't you accept that there are good infertile couples or GLBT couples who are looking to build a family!?? Do you hate infertile who have to use donor embryos? Not everything is about you. There are other people out their suffering from infertility and if I can help in this way then hell yes I am going to do it.  [/quote]

Some people's religion tells them that GLBT couples should not be couples or have children. And if you think God/universe takes care of everything, why did you go though IVF? Universe would have taken care of your issue, no?[/quote]

This poster is just looking to pick a fight. Just accept some people want to donate and some don't.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics