Reply to Accountability for an affair? Should cheating spouse tell his/her own family?

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[quote=Anonymous]Another vote in favor of telling as few people as necessary.  Most people, including myself, when hearing about other's affairs shrug and don't really care (affair are pretty common, most marriages involve infidelity at some point even if not discovered).  A smaller group are the ones who gossip about why there was the affair (he's a dirtbag, she's a controlling shrew who doesn't like sex).  And as other's have pointed out, if you stay together, then the gossipers will look at you as a chump (see the poster who owns the chumplady site that constantly promotes it here).

I have a couple of sons who are nearing marriage age.  I assume my reaction to hearing that they cheated on their spouse would be "that's unfortunate for them" but its not like I would view them as irredeemable monsters.  People are flawed.  I will love my children through their flaws.  Come to think of it, I would find it strange that my daughter-in-law felt it necessary to involve me in their family and sex life.

Good luck to you, I know you are hurting.

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