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[quote=Anonymous]
You asked how others have shared with their children that the parents were separating.

It your circumstance, rather than wait until after the vacation, I'd consider telling them before you head out by a couple of days. Give them time to ask questions. The vacation is a way of demonstrating to them that you'll still be a family. They will still be their father's children. You also have him there to explain himself, which is important.

My kids were so young when this happened, and XH already so distant that the questions didn't come for a good long while. They assumed daddy was working. I had to explain that he needed time to think about his decisions, and always underscored how much he loved them. Still, the shit bastard got away with never taking responsibility to them about his behavior and the choices he made. He was so bitter about me "kicking him out" it was probably better that he stayed away. Still, since your STBX initiated things, he should be there to handle the children's transition and help them through it.

As for the sex, OP, who can blame you? You've been trying to figure out what's going on with him and he gives you a cue, he invites intimacy. Of course you would respond. Don't waste the energy blaming yourself for continuing to be a partner while things are so new. I bet none of it feels real yet.

I'd be afraid that his departure after the holiday will hit the kids harder than if they've been prepped and given time with the two of you to manage an adjustment. Also, I totally own the fact that him getting out of all the discomfort of having to deal with them chafes. All of the guilty feelings and shame, those are his to deal with, OP. Why should you have to clean up all the pain he caused? Why should you have to suffer silently throughout the vacation, knowing it's all a lie? The children will have to make the jump from a happy family vacation to dad being gone. You, in mourning. The kids, utterly oblivious the whole trip. That's not fair to anyone. Sure is convenient for STBX though, isn't it?

Instead of trying to figure him out, start talking to STBX about the logistics. When will he see the children? What about events you already have planned or responsibilities he currently has as it relates to the children? He may be driving this bus, but if you're forced to ride it, you need to know the conditions, the path, basically where it's headed and what that's gonna look like. Hold him accountable and keep your head high.
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