Reply to Fear of Sibling Rivalry is Stopping Us from having Kid #2

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Reply to "Fear of Sibling Rivalry is Stopping Us from having Kid #2"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
When I was round with pregnancy and watching tv with barely-toddler DS, he said "Baby!" and pointed at the screen. I asked him if he wanted one, a baby. He said "yesh" and I promised to get him one.

When DD was born a few weeks later, I handed her off to him. "This is YOUR sister." He's been taking care of her ever since.

Do they bicker sometimes? Sure. But, I gave each one of them a "best friend forever" and they understand that. I've always done things to support their bond. They've taken baths together and we all co-sleep. I've enrolled them in similar extra-curriculars together over the years. Sometimes the age gap separates them, like when one was still in daycare and the other is school. But, they share birthday parties (the one always goes to the other's classroom at school cake parties) and we take turns watching what's important to each one as a family. They're forced to find common ground when choosing outings, but it's not presented as a conflict between them, just something we all have to figure out together.

I read an article in some parenting magazine about the nature of sibling relationships based on the age gap (2 years, 3, 4, 5, etc.) and they all look very different. Kinda knowing what to look out for can help.

Maybe taking a look at the particulars of what bothered you about the sibling relationship will help guide you? Bullying behaviors, favoritism, lack of autonomy...these all seem like big ones. They are all subject to parental guidance, too! And that's the good news. You'll decide the nature of the relationship more than any age split, OP. I say, build the family you want then work to develop that family. Don't let fear of something you control limit you in making your choices.
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How old are your kids now?[/quote]

Early elementary.[/quote]

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