Reply to Fear of Sibling Rivalry is Stopping Us from having Kid #2

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[quote=Anonymous]Our kids are almost 3.5 years apart. They're extremely close. Always have been. Tiny bits of bickering here and there, especially when they're tired, hungry or bored. But no rivalry. They cheer for each other and choose to spend time together.

My sibling and I were/are very similar. But two years apart, not 3+.

Here's what both sibling relationships have in common:

- Natural chemistry. I think my kids would choose each other as friends if they were strangers who just met at school. My brother and I would, too - both as kids and now as adults.

- older sister / younger brother combo. Not that this is guarantee against rivalry or a predictor of closeness. I've seem close anD not close sibling pairs in every combination. But this happens to be what we have in common in my family. Maybe seeing that I'm close to mY brother is a good model for them?

- parents who encourage the sibling-as-friend idea. My parents did this part right. Tried hard not to compare us. Never tried to get us to turn on or narc on the other etc.  they even let us gang up on them as teens. They were secure that way as parents and Probably knew it was good for us to operate as a team, even if it made their lives a bit more annoying at times. ?

If you want to have a second child, Don't let this worry stop you. trust that you'll help them navigate sibling challenges and grow close to each Other.

Also, it might help to read Siblings Without Rivalry now. Even before getting pregnant with a second. It's s great book and may reassure you![/quote]

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