Reply to How did you work towards having a good co-parenting relationship with your ex?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My now ex (we are both women) really wanted kids in theory, but wanted to wait.  I wanted to have a child and was at an age where it had to happen soon.  We got along really well, but had a lopsided relationship where I was independent and like space and ex wanted a relationship that was all about each other all the time.  Have a kid made that difference really stark, plus ex didn't like the constant work of parenting.  She's much happier being a half time parent and having a girlfriend who is fun and dumb and not taxing.

To answer the original question:

1. I treat her like a coworker who I don't like that much but need to maintain a good relationship with
2. Unless I feel something is unsafe for my child, I don't question what happens on her time
3. I try to stick to our established schedule, and also say yes if she asks me to take extra time with our kid
4. I don't speak badly of her or her dumb girlfriend (former affair partner)
5. When things are tense between us, we communicate by email
6. I try to focus on the positive of building the life I want for my child rather critiquing the ex.

It's hard to only have half time access to the child I fought so hard to have, and it's hard to share a child with someone with whom I seem to share fewer values with each day[/quote]

All of this. I do have more than 50% time with my kid because dad lives far away, but dad shows up on time every time (he's been late once in 7 years, and it was out of his control). I can imagine it would be different if he wasn't a willing parent. [/quote]

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