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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know if I'd out him, either.   It's his cheating that's reprehensible, not who he cheated with.   [/quote]

Agree, but it's worse that it was with a man. Definitely tells friends and family if it will make you feel better. [/quote]

Why is that worse? Because being gay is a worse sin than adultry? [/quote]

NP here.  It is worse b/c he took advantage of his wife and played her for a fool.  While this is always the case when someone cheats, it is worse b/c he would blatantly tell her he was going away with his HS friend knowing full well OP would never suspect anything.  That is way worse to me than sneaking around behind her back.  We all know that if he were cheating with a woman he would never have told his wife about late nights and weekend getaways.  He used that fact that he was cheating with a man to get away with it right in front of her face.  He didn't even have the decency to try and hide it.

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OP here.  Yes, this is what makes it worse, I believe.  We had a good marriage and were very happy.  Husband had this good friend who he spent lots of time with and with whom he traveled out of town frequently on "buddy trips" about 3 times a year.  Weekend get togethers.  Daily phone convos.  Why did I not suspect?  Because I was loving and trusting.  My husband had every right to have a buddy just as I have friends.  He used my trust to fuck me over repeatedly for 30 years.  He had this guy over for dinner and allowed me to run around cooking, cleaning and playing hostess to the two of them while they smugly sat there and let me.  I sent sincere and thoughtful condolence cards to the other guy when each of his parents died.  And on and on.  Cheating is always hideous, but the "open" nature of this cheating right in front of my face is even MORE disrespectful.  No doubt a good bit of my rage is directed at myself for not seeing it.  But I really don't walk around questioning others sexual orientation just because they have close same sex friends and I still do not.  My husband is an asshole because he is an asshole, not because he is bisexual.  I am very clear on that point.  
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