Reply to If you are married or in a long-term partnership and you die

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Exactly 13:42

We were blindsided by our father's behavior and there was no reasoning with him.

Three of the women he proposed to right after mom died told him no. One was my mom's childhood friend. He proposed two weeks after mom died and the friend never spoke to him again. One was a widow herself, and she told him she would be happy to build a friendship with him but that he needed to take his time to grieve. I wish he would have taken her advice. The other who said no was a career woman and she said she would date him but it was too soon to get married.  The one who said yes (fourth he proposed to in as many months)

This one is the one who quickly and systematically cut off all the daughters but one. Everyone who suggested he wait or take some more time got cut off completely, and the others get VERY limited access to him.

When we heard she said yes, we hadn't even gone through our mom's personal effects. We asked him to wait and he told us he had already bought her plane ticket and we had just a few days to get whatever of mom's clothing and stuff we wanted out of her house before new wife arrived to move in. We were told to empty the closets and dressers so she had a place for her stuff. This was a couple months after mom died. Some of us lived out of town and had not been in the house since the funeral. We asked him to wait two weeks so we coukd all get off work and fly back to go through her stuff together, and were told no because second wife really wanted to come out as soon as possible to start their new life.  It went downhill from there.[/quote]

I remember pleading with my dad to please just wait a year because I missed Mom so much and couldn't bear seeing his girlfriends, and could he just not talk about dating if he had to do it?  Just for the year...  I was taking a Psychology class at the time and my teacher had made a great impression me when she talked about communication methods, etc.  I remember calmly saying all of my feelings about Mom and just needing the one year, or to not have to meet/see his dates for a few months at least, and I concluded with "This is just how I feel, Dad.  I wish I could change my feelings, but this is just how I feel.  I'm not doing so good right now..."  Dad replied, "Well, your feelings are wrong."

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