Reply to When to downsize? When kids leave for college or later?

Forum Index » Real Estate

Reply to "When to downsize? When kids leave for college or later?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Not every two bedroom house has to be small. Seems to me like a 2-bedroom condo with a large living area, a pool, and the city right outside your front door would be fun for kids. And you know, if the kids/grandkids don't like it well, too bad. I'm working my ass off to provide for their education and a great life now. I think by the time I'm 65 I will have earned the right to live how I damn well please.
[/quote]

+1  I think that once your children are "launched", you should live however you wish.  Many condos have guest rooms that can be rented.  We always used a condo room rental when visiting our parents.  It actually worked well . . . we all had our privacy.  And, how often will your kids visit anyway?  If they have a place, you can go visit them there.  Or you can all take a beach vacation together.  I would not sacrifice my lifestyle for the few times that they visit.  [/quote]

I agree everybody should 'live how they damn well please"... but we visited our in-laws about 6 times a year (they love the grandchildren).

So Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, 4th of July and 2 other random times.

Now they live in an apartment and we do not visit. It is not feasible for 6 (2 grandparents, us and our kids) adults to stay in a 2br apartment. There is nothing in the city we have not seen 3000 times. They are welcome to visit, but of course they don't want to visit, they are too set in their ways.

Personally I am happier, we have used those 6 opportunities to do what we want instead of visiting all the time, but they are sad and lonely and they do feel isolated. [/quote]

I am all about downsizing and if my children invite me to visit I will be all over that.  I will have spent a lifetime being the party planner/host/flophouse for all family gatherings and will be more than glad to pass the torch.  [/quote]

You have to be prepared for the torch to go out. If you are okay with that. You can't expect people to take up "your torch" they want to create their own torch and that might not include what you "expect". [/quote]

Are you honestly criticizing the woman for not wanting to be the person who does everything for her family well into old age? If they don't want to plan and clean and prepare and harangue over details like she did, that's fine. But you can't make someone take up a grown child's slack for ages. If they want to make traditions of their own, they can invite her and she can decide to come or go. But relying on her to continue do everything she did for them as a child well into their adulthoods is the most asinine case of infantilization I've ever heard of. [/quote]

Wow! You sure did read a lot in there that did not exist.

She said she will "pass the torch". ... but she imagines that somebody will receive the torch. I NEVER said she needs to continue these parties but if SHE WANTS PARTIES ... she will need to plan them and throw them. She can't expect her DIL to want to just "receive the torch" and carry on her traditions and turn her house into a flophouse (her words). (Because you know none of these moms are passing the torch to their sons.)

It is not a "grown child's slack"... they will move away, have their own house and their own family and more than likely will not visit if there is no home to visit. I did not say it is right, or wrong it just is... if you make the decision, own it... don't get all pissy because your DIL did not take over the party planning/throwing/etc. She chose to make her house a flophouse, that does not mean her DIL wants her house to be a flophouse.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics