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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "I think my husband is secretly applying for jobs outside of DC "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He's in the last year of his phd and I've been catching him look at assistant professor positions in the middle of no where. Think Ohio , Alabama , Georgia. We have talked about this so many times that it's exhausting. I won't have job opportunities in a small college town and I know I would be miserable. He seems to think if they offer him enough $$$ I will be willing to move. Job prospects for him ( statistician) are projected to be very good in this area. We have a 6 month old. I LOVE love love his daycare provider . She speaks to our baby in dh's home language and I am really happy with her. I also love my job here as well! [b]My husband isn't from the US originally. He hasn't been to these states and I have a feeling he would be happier here. It's very important that my son grows up in a diverse environment . He's mixed ( Indian / white ).[/b] I'm not sure what I am asking here. I'm just so frustrated![/quote] 1. It appears that you are throwing up the false issue of race diversity but your real concern is YOUR job and what YOU want. It makes nice theater to make out like you are concerned about your "mixed" child growing up in a diverse environment (how can I be wrong if its about the children??). 2. Have you ever lived in these states? Your outward racial (anti-white) / class (anti- middle-class) bias is showing. You assume that "middle of nowhere" places like GA, Alabama, Ohio will be bad because they are not "diverse." I call B.S. college towns (i.e. Athens and Atlanta, et.c) always have a "diverse" community because it is full of (1) professors who are not from the U.S. (2) full of students who are not from the U.S. 3. I've never lived anywhere in the U.S. as segregated as NOVA! VA is significantly white high income while MD is significantly Black lower income. I've lived in Georgia, Mississippi, Utah, Texas, Iowa, Virginia, Oregon, Washington state. Most recently I relocated to NOVA and I was floored by the clustering of similar races/income levels. This is especially the case given that the area is the bastion of democratic social values and higher education. I guess everyone here likes to look down on the reset of the country but they don't practice what the preach.[/quote] OP, do you think Texas is one of those "middle of nowhere" places, or that it isn't diverse? Houston is officially the #1 most racially and ethnically diverse city in the country (even more than NYC metro area). Just something to think about.[/quote] No. College towns = middle of no where for me. I work at a children's hospital and they're only in metro cities. We could BOTH find jobs here . Moving to a college town would mean giving up my career to stay at home . I'm not ok with that setup. [/quote] Could you replicate your career (or would you want to) at a university hospital? Or a local regional hospital? Or, if you want to stay with Children's Hospitals, have you developed a list of cities that have them and asked your husband to only apply to hospitals in cities on the list? There are MANY areas for middle ground between staying here and being a SAHM.[/quote] +1 My DH is in academia, and while my job seems more potentially transferable than yours, this was something we talked about at length both times he was in the job market. If your husband truly wants a position in the academic world, rather than being a statistician in a firm, you truly will have to go where the jobs are. I've had many friends in the job market who end up in cities that aren't their first (or even second) choice, because that's where the job is. Including my family! Academia is weird like that. :) But this is something you [i]have to[/i] know, and [i]must[/i] talk about as a potential faculty spouse. That said, many college towns have top-notch hospital systems, and it is possible that your husband may be able to bring up the possibility of placing you in one during his salary negotiations. I currently live in Ann Arbor, and Mott Children's Hospital is top-notch, for example. Other universities with large medical programs might be similar in scope. [/quote]
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