Reply to Team Sports, Stop paying your kids for individual goals

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[quote=Anonymous]When my shy son was smaller (U9) we offered to pay him $1 for every handshake he gave  his teammates after they scored a goal.  He never asked for the money after he complied -- the offer to pay  only emphasized to him that it was something his parents thought was important and resonated more than a lecture.  We also offered to pay him for juggles -- a set amount after he reached 20, 50 etc.  This was because (as a previous poster said) juggling is reallydifficult at first and an incentive would help him overcome his frustration.  Once he hit 20, it became easier as he mastered the mechanics and then beating his previous  record or doing a trick became the motivation.  He also never asked to for the money, but money in itself is not particularly motivating for him.  He realized that mastering the skill was much more pleasurable than the offered reward.

We never paid him to score goals, or to do a cross-over or anything like that but coaches in training have offered other incentives for doing a skill, e.g. two points if a move is properly executed before a goal rather than one (this obviously only works in training but kids treat scrimmages like the World Cup) .  It sounds more like the individual poster was frustrated that the promise of a reward was clouding the judgment of an otherwise unselfish child who would pass and share the ball with his teammates but for the incentive.  Would there be an objection if the same parent was giving his child $1 for every completed pass?  If the answer is no, then the real beef is not with giving rewards but is a fundamental disagreement with about how the game should be played at this age.  There are plenty of parents at the younger ages standing on the sideline screaming at a kid (usually not their own kid) to "PASS THE BALL!  PASS THE BALL!" and this is just as disruptive as paying a kid to take a shot.    [/quote]

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