Reply to Team Sports, Stop paying your kids for individual goals

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow, my poor kids don't get money for anything! Yet both somehow manage all As, high test scores, and they even help around the house. Youngest is at the top of the region in his sport with a wall full of medals that he hasn't been paid a cent to earn.

In the real world, you don't get rewarded for everything. Even at work, most jobs outside of sales don't have a day-to-day correlation between pay and performance (oh, you helped Joe with his presentation? Here's $100!). You have to develop some other intrinsic motivation. Paying kids for grades, sports performance, etc. prevents them from developing that internal pride in doing the right thing and working hard.[/quote]

And in the real world kids aren't rewarded for every trivial thing either. You are overgeneralizing while glossing over your own parenting style as both superior and effective. I'm sure you praise your kids, perhaps that is all they need, but don't act like it isn't a reward of some sort.

But, in general, rewards are only effective for short term results. They work about as well long term as do threats or fear tactics. Achievement, as corny as it sounds is generally not only its own reward but also its motivator. But, for many people, rewarding a few short term goals is a necessary step to reach a bigger picture goal for achievement.

Learning how to juggle a soccer ball is hard, especially the first 10-20. Many kids, without some form of short term motivation, will simply not keep at it. But once the mechanics of the first 20 juggles are generally met then satisfaction begins to motivate as frustration declines with success.

But attacking parents who are struggling to find ways to motivate their kids is unnecessary. [/quote]

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