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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  I guess it would be nice if there were more secondary infertility support groups (I only know of one that is too far for me).  I'm surprised there aren't more.  Interestingly, from my own friends/social network, I know tons of women who went through primary but no women going through secondary.

Most of the women who went through primary got pregnant easily after with their second.  I'm the opposite, got pregnant easily with our first, started TTC when #1 was 12 months, and still no pregnancy after 2 years.  Unfortunately it looks like pregnancy with my own eggs is just not going to happen (I still cannot wrap my mind around how I developed premature ovarian failure after getting pregnant on the second try with my child and starting TTC when #1 turned a year old).  It makes no sense to me that I could be super fertile just a year and a half before I learned I had premature ovarian failure, but I understand that it can happen).

I really need a support group.  I have a therapist, but I think having a support group would be very helpful.[/quote]

OP - I am with you! 35 and also going through secondary infertility (TTC for two years). We have lots of friends who had their children through IUI and IVF because of primary infertility (including ALL of my nieces and nephews). But this thread underscores why I can't talk to any of them about it, even though the treatments, the grind, the uncertainty, and the financial burden are the same. I feel so alone. A support group is a great idea. [/quote]

NP here.  It absolutely makes sense to me why someone who is experiencing secondary IF after conceiving easily the first time would need a support group, but I think you need to separate out the issues.  I needed ART for both of my pregnancies, and I had pretty much given up on having a biological child when my 7th ART cycle finally resulted in DD.  For me personally, having a child at all was such a miracle that even though I was upset by the chemical pregnancy that resulted from my first FET trying for #2, no aspect of that grief compared to what I felt during the mc's and chemicals I had trying for #1.

This isn't to minimize your experience, just to say it's different.  If you're looking for emotional support about not having a second child from women who have never had a child, you aren't going to get it.  They simply will not be able to relate to you, and, perhaps unfairly, some will minimize your pain.  Now, if you want to talk about how much IUIs and IVFs and all the stuff that goes along with treatments sucks, then I don't care if you're trying for #5...I'd be more than happy to commiserate.  Cuz it does suck...even after you get so used to it, it becomes part of your daily routine.[/quote]

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