Reply to Sister telling people I'm on a diet

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here's the thing.  Many of us who are larger have been shamed about our weight and appearance for years.  This can result in a situation where you are extremely sensitive about your weight and your body.  I currently avoiding being in photographs for this reason.  Even when I lose weight, I am really uncomfortable with people mentioning it because:
a[b].  the subtext is "You look so much better.  Geez, you used to be so fat and disgusting!"
b.  I am uncomfortable with anyone telling me something that implies that they are looking and have been looking at my body - because chances are, in the past they were not admiring it.[/b]
c.  Telling me that I look great, or I look better or that I am doing a good job with my weight loss is extremely condescending, and you are acting from a position of privilege as a thin person in rewarding me with a compliment -- which I didn't ask for, don't want, and don't acknowledge that you have the power to go around handing out.
d.[b]  It's intrusive and inappropriate.  It crosses boundaries.  Just because I am in public doesn't give you the right to comment on my body.  I may very well have noticed your new boob job, but I"m not going to say "Hey, I think your new boobs look great.  Maybe now your husband will stop screwing around on you."[/quote][/b]

You said it extremely well. My body is not a topic of discussion, thanks.[/quote]

Agree with all of this. I don't give body compliments at all--I prefer to compliment people on a new hairstyle, flattering dress, or even just let them know how happy I am to see them. Weight is such a minefield for so many people; why do we need to go there at all?[/quote]

Agree.
My MIl used to comment if I put lipstick on or if I had a new shirt. I know she was being nice. BUT it made me feel self conscious when I saw her because I felt she was analysing me. Surely then she would notice if I looked bad on a certain day.... I don't like the comments.[/quote]

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