Reply to This stepmonster gem from Carolyn Hax

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So bio mom gets to decide exactly how her money will be spent after she dies, on what is essentially a luxury item. It necessary for raising her daughter.  Meanwhile, the dad and stepmom are still required to actually raise the child, to pay for food, provide her a nice living space, drive her places, and do all that parents do every day.  [b]I find it really indulgent and self centered for a parent to provide a luxury good to their child, and to leave it to other (any stepparent a included) to actually do the heavy lifting of parenting and to pay for it. [/b] Also, I'm really doubting the daughter is the actual beneficiary on the insurance policy.  I'd guess the father is, and that he is now informing his wife that the funds are restricted due to what his first wife would have wanted.  Guess the first wife would not have wanted a roof over her daughter's head or food on the table, just the luxury of private school.  Think if it this way, the step mom's contributions in time and money in raising and providing for her stepdaughter may well be far in excess to the money she and the dad would need to upgrade homes to a good school district.  but let's just be sure that girl gets to continue in private school, because that's really the only important thing.  [/quote]

Yes, so indulgent and self centered of Mom to die young. How thoughtless of her.

[/quote]

It's so weird how this poster thinks it's selfish of the bio mom to decide that money should be spent on a luxury item and require the dad (and stepmom) to "actually do the heavy lifting of parent and pay for it."

For heaven's sake -- the "other" is the biodad.  Of course, the bio mom expected the bio dad to parent and pay for HIS OWN BIO CHILDREN.  BioMom probably had a pretty good idea if biodad's income/career path would be enough to pay for the basics of raising the children.

It is so messed up how the top poster seems to think doing what any biological parent would do is a huge burden.

The stepmom chose of her own accord to step into this family.  She had to make the calculation at the time that part of her income would go to maintaining the home (maybe paying the mortgage) and basic living expenses.  She had to make the calculation about how her own money would be spent and how that would affect her own future goals or children.  Frankly, it wasn't BioMom's responsibility to think about the future marital situation of bioDad.  BioMom's only concern is -- can BioDad take care of BioChildren.  Not will BioDad be able to take care of BioChildren and new step-wife and step-children.  That latter was a concern only for 2nd wife and BioDad.  Both of them should have thought through and discussed the financial implications before starting marriage #2.  [/quote]

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