Reply to Step mother starting a huge inappropriate fight and is unlikely to apologize, where do I go from her

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[quote=Anonymous]OP back, thanks for the feedback.  I find all of the perspectives useful.  I did decide to call stepmom to apologize for my role in the conversation that should not have ever occurred about this topic that will never be discussed again.  I also said that I am very hurt by this entire situation.  She said she was also sorry and didn't want this tension.  I then asked to speak to my dad and told him I was sorry for fighting and having discussed this at all and firmly said it wouldn't be discussed again nor would anything else related to my mother be discussed, ever again with me or my children.  He said okay let's just move on.  I basically ended the call their and although he has been calling g daily since and asking g when  the kids and I are coming to the cottage, I have just explained that we are very busy and have plans through next week.

Another facet here is that my husband is traveling most of the summer in Asia with brief breaks back home for a week or two every 3-4 weeks so I have a lot on my plate.  I also work full time and have two kids under 6.  I truly plan to scale back my relationship here.  I am not cutting them off but I just can't see spending nearly as much time around them.  I am disgusted that this altercation occurred in front of my children .  I don't know that I'm going to get past that or want to after having thought about this for a few days.

I'm glad I took the first step to address it.  I am an adult and won't allow myself to be drawn into something like this again, especially with step mom.

I have spoken at length to my brother and he agrees it was best to squash it to remove their power over it but encourages me to be more cautious with both of them as he says he already feels.

Honestly it's just so sad and disappointing to see this and I am not willing to ever let them tear down my mom.  My husband has been very supportive from afar.  He says we will get our own summer place to build our own family traditions and that we don't need anything from anybody.  He's right.  I've learned a hard lesson from this.

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