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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Jewish couple adopting AA baby?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH is additionally concerned about adoption because the adoptees he's known anecdotally. Based on your husband's hesitations I would not adopt an AA baby. I know a Jewish couple who adopted two babies whose parents were not Jewish and are now raising them Jewish. Personally, I think that is wrong because they are[b] denying their children's biological history[/b]. Almost as if you adopted from China and raised them to be Mormon. If you are going to adopt at all you need to discuss this with your husband and perhaps a counselor to work out all the feelings you both have. Perhaps there are Jewish babies/young children available that you are unaware of? Perhaps you can talk to people in your community? Good luck![/quote] Religion is biological? As far as I know we are not born into a particular religion. PP, how do you feel about adults who convert, are they similarly "denying their biological history". [b]OP FWIW my mother is AA.[/b] My dad is white and Jewish. I was raised culturally Jewish and observe the high holidays. Your child would be no different. I get a few looks when I talk about preparing for Passover and the like but it doesn't matter at all. Raise your child with love, in any religion you choose. Teach him/her to be kind and respectful of others and you are ahead of half the bio kids of DCUM parents. :-) [/quote] Growing up, did you know your mother's family? Presumably you had, if not siblings, AA cousins, aunts, and uncles? Religion isn't the only factor here. OP is talking about the prospect of raising a Black child in an overwhelmingly White neighborhood, synagogue, etc, and with no family to fall back on in terms of identity. I wouldn't presume to know much about growing up biracial, but it isn't the same as transracial adoption because biracial folks (usually) have Black families on at least one side. In the case of transracial adoption, something's gotta give - we know this from actual studies as well as from "anecdata." The best adjusted transracial adoptees were given substantial contact with the Black community, which in OP's case would almost certainly entail a change in geography. [/quote] +1000. Growing up with a black parent is not the same at all as what OP proposes to put a child through for her own convenience. I grew up as the only black kid in all-white schools and neighborhoods, but I wasn't also the only black person at home and in my extended family. The kind of complete erasure of people who look anything like you that OP will subject her adopted child to is really awful, especially when combined with the negative depictions of blackness the kid will be seeing in every form of media.[/quote]
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