Reply to FTM - will I want my mom right away?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Only your mother will want to take care of YOU[/b] as much as the baby and will understand what you are going through. I had my mom first and then my MIL and then my sister, which was the perfect progression of help and me getting my independence back. I was lucky, I know, but if you have the help available, take it.

For subsequent babies, I would have taken help from anyone off the street -- I knew what I was doing and just needed more hands and time to keep the other kids afloat.[/quote]

This.  My mom and I have a decent but not great relationship...but it's more good than bad.  I was a little hesitant about whether I wanted her to come right away, but in the end that's how it worked out.  The one thing I know about my mom is that she takes care of everything, she and I are more similar than different in how we approach things, and she is really low maintenance.  So she arrived while we were still in the hospital.  When we came home, she had already cooked a huge meal and tidied up.  She cooked/prepped all of our meals while she was in town, about 2 weeks in she insisted on our going out for a night alone (which was a good idea though I was opposed to it at the time), she never tried to take the baby from me when I was holding her but she did watch her so I could shower etc, she knitted a whole bunch of cute stuff for DD, and mostly she was the only person around who clearly cared the most about *me* and how I was doing.  It's almost as if seeing me with a baby reminded her of how I'm her baby, so her biggest concern was that I was doing alright.  Sometimes this was ridiculous, like when she gave me a long lecture about not carrying a laundry basket up and down stairs because I would permanently damage my hip joint or something, but typically it was just reminding me to eat and rest etc.

Physically, for me the first 2 weeks PP were the hardest.  And physical care-taking is the kind my mom is best at.  So I would say that if you think you can rely on your mom to help that way and not try to monopolize the baby, have her come right away![/quote]

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