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[quote=Anonymous]OP with an update:

I didn't confront him that weekend, but I started paying closer attention, and noticed a lot of strange coincidences. They were all smallish things that on their own wouldn't be a big deal, but there were a lot of these little instances.

Stuff like he had to have a minor medical procedure done and told me he needed to take two days of PTO to recover. I went to the same doctor for a consultation on the same procedure and was told I could go back to work as soon as the procedure was done. We both have plenty of PTO, and I swear I would not care if he just wanted to take time off to sit on the couch and binge on House of Cards or whatever. So why lie about that?

On Friday, we were going to have a lunch date, but he had a call with a (named) west coast consults any at noon (EDT) so he couldn't go until 1. I didn't hear anything from him until 2, and he said at that point it was too late for lunch. I asked who his call had been with, and he gave me the name of a different consultant (who is local). In a vacuum, I would say maybe he got his calls mixed up, or maybe the second one came up during the first, but there's a pattern of these little mishaps.

So anyway, I am leaving. I have thought about it, and I have no interest in playing Sherlock Holmes and looking for real evidence of an affair or something. The lying is enough for me to call it quits. And I don't think this is something we can counsel away. I am not going to get to a play where I am OK with his lying, and I think counseling will just make him better at hiding it.

I am going to call for an appointment with an attorney and a therapist on Monday so that I can come up with a plan. I felt like crap on Friday afternoon, and I broke down crying in the shower yesterday, but other than that, I am holding it together pretty well. I think discovering this bit by bit over two months has gradually numbed me, and allowed me to distance myself a little emotionally.[/quote]

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