Reply to Was your mother a "yeller," how did it affect you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I grew up as the quiet one in a family of yellers. But the scariest times were when my mom would get quiet. That's when you really knew you had to watch out ... the dreaded whisper with a pointed finger. Ugh. My father was usually tuned out, but when he tuned back in he was loud, a yeller, and a bully.

Anyway.  It took me a really, really long time to find my own voice. And a good amount of money spent on therapy.

I married a loud man. Divorced him, thank god. Married a good, quiet man who is amazing and rarely raises his voice unless under extreme duress.

Sadly, I have raised my voice on occasion with my son. It is a default, I guess, to kind of go back to how you were treated as a kid. I work so hard to break the cycle. But I have come nowhere to the level my family took it. My self esteem took so many hits as a kid; I don't want my son to ever feel how I felt. I was in constant fight or flight; it sucked.[/quote]

I wouldn't worry so much! Sounds like you are a great mom. Don't get your sons childhood confused with your own. Just because you yelled doesn't mean you're becoming your mom. It IS normal to yell on occasion! We all get frustrated and impatient, and children definitely bring it out. We all have different mechanisms to cope and they usually work but not always. When we yell and feel bad, we can simply apologize when we cooled off. [/quote]

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