Reply to Was your mother a "yeller," how did it affect you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes - both parents were yellers and my mom is verbally abusive.
It has definitely affected my brother and I and we both resent her for it. The yelling was bad but we could live with it - the verbal abuse and control games are another story and I will never do that to my kids. My mother always never apologizes when she says something mean and hurtful.
I am a yeller and try desperately to control it. I am loud in general when I am happy or mad and I hate that. FWIW - my culture is a loud one in general and very dramatic.
[/quote]

This is me also.  I have a terrible relationship with my mom because she was (still is) a yeller and was very verbally abusive (you're stupid, you're worthless type of stuff on a daily basis).  She also never apologizes.

Luckily, DH is not a yeller, and I work really hard to keep it in check.

For advice with a toddler, I use 1,2,3 Magic!  I know some people hate it, but for me it's been a lifesaver for the sole reason that it keeps me from screaming.  I've used it with two kids now, and it has made a huge difference.  When I get into a pattern where I find myself yelling about something on a regular basis (like getting ready in the AM), i try to come up with a strategy to make it better.  For a while, we did a sticker chart or whatever.

Not foolproof, but I can honestly say that I don't yell nearly as much as my mom did.  [/quote]

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