Reply to Dating men and having them open doors...or not.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm 30. I'm not a fan of when guys treat women like they are "precious things". Holding car doors is one of those (IMO others doors should be held by anyone for anyone).  I have a lot of friends with similar thoughts. We all grew up more Northern   wonder if some of these guys have dealt with more women like us and that's part of it. [/quote]

OP here: Thanks for your honest, respectful reply. I agree that part of it is that many women don't like it...and guys have been criticized for such behavior.

That's kind of why I wonder if it's better to tell them you prefer it. I'm not sure.

[/quote]

Pp here. Yes I think it's best to tell. I imagine it is hard being a guy and not being sure what might offend someone or not.  If you otherwise like a guy, I see nothing wrong with being direct and telling them that you like it when guys hold car doors. If a guy is annoyed by it, not someone you'd want to date anyways.

Now I wouldn't say this on the first date because many guys would mistake you for being high maintenance.

The other thing is that if this turns you off to the point you completely lose interest, you might need to ease up a little because you'll be eliminating otherwise very nice guys. [/quote]

This. I'm 33 and talked to my first love about this many years ago. He fixed it and even would apologize initially when he would forget to. He actually thanked me for pointing it out much later in the relationship. He likes to please, but wasn't raised to be chivalrous. His father left his mom with 5 kids to raise.

I recently said something to a guy that I used to date (we're back to our usual platonic friendship). I told him that he has to start opening car doors. He's from the South so he really doesn't get a pass. He's 30. I went out with a 38yo guy recently who didn't either and just found him completely unappealing as he did not have a chivalrous bone in his body. Trite as it sounds, I can't imagine having sex with someone like this. I need to feel like the woman in the relationship or my body doesn't respond sexually to someone.[/quote]

Yup, I understand. I'm the same way.

One of the guys I recently told [that I prefer and respond to chivalry], and he said that I shouldn't expect that from him. I felt like ghosting him right away, but I decided to give him a fair chance, because maybe he will have many other redeeming qualities. (He's obvioisly interested in me, as he's chased me for a while.) Anyway, he's now hinting at his physical interest. All I can think of is his comment to me. ["Don't expect that from me."] I have zero interest in even kissing this guy now.[/quote]

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