Reply to How can I convince my husband to get a vasectomy?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I think that if you aren't able to use hormonal methods and can't/don't want to have a non-hormone IUD, then you are left with either barrier methods (condoms for him or diaphragm for you) or surgical options (vasectomy for him or tubes tied for you).

The barrier methods are probably not effective enough for people who are 100% sure they don't want to have another child and who had terrible pregnancies (I completely sympathize as mine were nightmares as well). And having your tubes tied is a major surgery, much more invasive, open to complications, and has a longer recovery time than a vasectomy.

You can explain to him why the various options that out birth control in your court are not feasible for you. You can tell him that either birth control is in his court or abstinence is the answer. You don't have to make it a threat.

Another idea that he may not want to bring up or admit is that he is afraid that something will happen to you or one of your children and he will not be able to have another child. While it is true that vasectomies are reversible, it is not 100%. It may at first glance seem appalling, but it really is understandable for him to want to protect his future fertility. Would he be more open to a vasectomy if he banked his sperm first? Might be worth asking, but you have to do it in a completely accepting way.[/quote]

Yeah, this may be a good idea. The sperm banking, I mean. That way it's there just in case and may make him feel a bit better.

The "less manly" argument is weird to me. I could understand not feeling virile if you can't get it up. But getting it up and not ejaculating sperm doesn't seem like a big deal to me. At least not in comparison to the other options like abstinence or condoms. (Though personally I would be ok with condoms and careful charting ... but I am not super-fertile so YMMV.)[/quote]

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