Reply to Do we need to mail wedding gifts to 1st cousins? (Not attending)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I don't dislike them - I barely know them. Some came to our wedding as kids (not my idea - they were on MIL's list) - they didn't give a gift, their parents did. So they would essentially be collecting double gifts - from my inlaws and us, even though they/their parents only gave us 1 gift. That seems like an unfair financial burden to us when they themselves never had to spend a penny. And there are a lot of them - it adds up. 
^^
But they have to "double invite" people -- it's not just your in-laws and DH, it's you, too (and potentially your kids).  An invite = send a gift, even a $50 gift card to Crate and Barrel.  And you shouldn't have to dig up an address.  Just take 2 minutes to find the registry online, scroll to the bottom and click on gift card.  The registry will have all the address information pre-populate.  [/quote]

OP, are you an only child of only children? [b]Or from very small families that don't really maintain relationships with one another[/b]?

That is the only thing which makes your posts make sense. You just don't seem to understand how family manners work so you must not be very experienced with dealing with families.

Seriously.  If dcum, one of the most anti family togetherness places out there is telling you to just send a gift, why on earth do you keep arguing and looking for affirmation not to?[/quote]

OP here. Its this. I do not at all understand the dynamics at play in my husbands very large extended family. Especially because everyone is scattered all around the country - there isn't even one obvious "home" area for them - there are no phone calls, emails or family reunions. No matriarch who is the "glue" in the family. But weddings and funerals feel like command performances that all involve expensive plane tickets, hotels and days off work. I don't want to spend my limited vacation time and funds attending the wedding/funeral of someone I barely know. And my husband is not close to these people either - he just doesn't like pissing off his mom.[/quote]

So don't go, BUT YOU ARE STILL OBLIGATED TO SEND A GIFT. Stop being so dense. You got an invitation to a wedding. Therefore, you must send a present. Period.[/quote]

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