Reply to My husband is suicidal. I'm a mess.

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Reply to "My husband is suicidal. I'm a mess."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]First off, calm way, way down. You are likely egging him on somewhat at this point and you need to change your own behavior right now for everyone's sake.

You are not a single mom by any means nor is there any indication that your are going to become one.

An overwhelming majority of men have a very rough transition to fatherhood. Your DH is not unique. There are thousands of DH with depression and anxiety who went through the same in the DC area and some going through it right now.

You are fully capable of taking care of a baby without your DH's input. You do not need your mom to help either.

You need to stop clinging to the happy family/involved dad fantasy you envisioned and instead go with your reality. You are not relieving your DH of parenting. Really and truly if he does not do routine infant care it doesn't make him less of your child's father.

You need to really think about if having your mom in your home is helpful/harmful. She can stay nearby and visit during the day if need be. Do not gang up on your DH. It will not help.

do whatever you can to facilitate your DH getting the script for Xanax on Monday even if it means doing it yourself. Your Dh is in crisis mode and can't not and will not make logic decisions for himself all the time right know.[/quote]

Oh fer chrissake. This is not about OPs inability to care for her baby or she and her mom "ganging up" on her husband. This is not about "clinging to the happy family/involved dad fantasy" either. Her reality is that her husband has a mental illness and is suicidal. They are all in a vulnerable state. And the suicide rates among vets is quite high.

Have you ever dealt with a suicidal family member? I have. We had to help my mom commit herself to a facility when I was 15 and my brother was 17 because she thought she was going to kill herself and she didn't want me to find her dead.  I am so grateful that she able to recognize that she needed help--I think if we hadn't been there though she would have done it. The fact that OP's husband started to seek help and admitted that he was going to kill himself is extremely serious. It is not adjusting to fatherhood and it is insulting and breathtakingly ignorant to lump in serious suicidal threats and major depressive disorder with adjusting to parenthood. [/quote]

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