Reply to My husband is suicidal. I'm a mess.

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Reply to "My husband is suicidal. I'm a mess."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First off, calm way, way down. You are likely egging him on somewhat at this point and you need to change your own behavior right now for everyone's sake.

You are not a single mom by any means nor is there any indication that your are going to become one.

An overwhelming majority of men have a very rough transition to fatherhood. Your DH is not unique. There are thousands of DH with depression and anxiety who went through the same in the DC area and some going through it right now.

You are fully capable of taking care of a baby without your DH's input. You do not need your mom to help either.

You need to stop clinging to the happy family/involved dad fantasy you envisioned and instead go with your reality.  You are not relieving your DH of parenting. Really and truly if he does not do routine infant care it doesn't make him less of your child's father.

You need to really think about if having your mom in your home is helpful/harmful. She can stay nearby and visit during the day if need be. Do not gang up on your DH. It will not help.

do whatever you can to facilitate your DH getting the script for Xanax on Monday even if it means doing it yourself. Your Dh is in crisis mode and can't not and will not make logic decisions for himself all the time right know.

[/quote]

Oh, good grief.  A man curled up, sobbing on the dining room floor and threatening suicide is not just dealing with mere "adjustment issues".  This guy needs help from a professional.  And Op is not lame for feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all.

This idea that men have this luxury of falling apart when they become fathers is BS.  That is not healthy for them and it is insulting to say that women should just suck it up, stop whining and DEAL - that is about as wrong as it gets.  A baby is a huge responsibility and Op is not lame for wanting her husband to get the help he so desperately needs so that he can be there for his child AND his wife.  If Op's mom is available and willing to help - LET HER!  Op needs all the love and support that she can get right now.  She has got an awful lot on her plate to deal with.[/quote]

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