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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why do I stay when DH cheated, well - he admitted it when I discovered it, is getting individual therapy for sex addiction (SA), we are going to marriage counseling, he's apologized, is trying to earn my trust back, wants our marriage to work and is seeking out why he's the way he is and why he's done what he's done, why stay other reasons - b/c we have kids and I want to tell them that I tried (if I decide later I want to divorce), b/c the devastation emotionally and financially on my kids would be horrible (what I assume). There's no black/white. I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd EVER stay with a cheater, NEVER, but here I am, trying my best to forgive (not forget), to trust (probably never fully). Some of you might respond nasty that SA isn't real, but that's ok, you can believe what you want. I treat it as a drug/alcohol/food/spending addiction and want to give my spouse/marriage a fighting chance. I don't feel like I have low-self esteem, if divorced, kids/I would be ok, I'm the breadwinner.  So that's my story.[/quote]

Yes, OK.  That was me too.  But, wait until you find out about the next affair.  And, with SA it is highly likely there will be one.  Understand why you stay, but hope you are planning for the divorce, because the odds are not in your favor at all.

FWIW, IME the emotional and financial devastation of divorce is equal to or less than the emotional and financial devastation of living in a marriage with a sex addict and exposing oneself and one's kids to the consequences of that.  What will happen when your kids stumble over the next affair?  Or you find out about the huge money spent on porn or escorts?  Or you get an STD?  Or the emotional lessons they learn from his lying and your willingness to accept his lies?

BTDT. [/quote]

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